All the Bulls (a lullaby -- Dina and Dolores)

All the Bulls (a lullaby)
Words & Music by Patresa Hartman (January 2013)

This is another case where the song came first and then inspired the chapter. Although, I don't feel like I got the chapter [14] right. I'll try again in rewrites.


All the Bulls
LYRICS

All the bulls in Spain have bullied through your stained glass door.
Left your finest china in pieces on the kitchen floor.

I can't save you, but I can illuminate.

All the mustangs in the wild west have pounded hooves across your chest.
Left your hope, your faith, without a single life-giving breath.

I can't save you, but I can illuminate.
I'll be a comet blazing across the sky.
Across the dark night sky.

One million moths tap SOS on your window pane.
You fear the flutter will summon a hurricane.
Hush dear. Don't cry. I've brought this magic lullaby.
By morning, I'll turn each moth into a butterfly.

They will save you, and illuminate.
Colored wings will bring the morning sky.
A bold new sky.

Look now, the bulls are sleeping at your stained glass door.

ember (a song for Phillip…with a note from ph)

Ember
Words & Music by Patresa Hartman (December, 2012)



Ember
Lyrics

Here comes the dark. I'll bring the light.
It's more than just a flash. Will you trust me?
Here comes the fear. I'll bring the brave.
It's more than just a child like tendency to jump.

I am a warrior. I am a child soldier.
Dust from a star, I am an ember.
And I am here to burn burn burn…

You underestimate my voice. It may be small,
But it comes straight from Heaven's window.
I see the torture that you feel with each choice and consequence.
You know, I always fall in grace.

I am a warrior. I am a child soldier.
Dust from a star, I am an ember.
And I am here to burn burn burn…

I am a warrior. I am a child soldier.
Dust from a star, I am an ember.
And I am here to burn burn burn…

**************A note from ph about this song and this character…**************

I like switching point of view in this draft, but I'll confess that I don't really know how I'm going to write Phillip's point of view, which is why I've avoided trying so far. I know his will have to be special. How do you write a character who doesn't speak?

But I think there's also something really enjoyable (in a freaky kind of way) about writing like this (*this bloggy drafty thingamabob*)--without a plan, that is. Without intention, things just pop out. This song popped out the day of the Newtown shootings and while I was in Nashville helping my cousin whose little girl is going through very aggressive cancer treatment. First of all, I didn't have access to a guitar, but I did have a lovely grand piano in a room with great acoustics. It was a nice change, but I've always worried that every song I make up on the piano sounds like a show tune. Show tunes are fine, but I don't want to sing them.

Next, I'd already been mulling over my problem with Phillip, knowing I was avoiding it and wouldn't be able to forever. Then, throughout the course of the day, caring for my son and my cousin's other 3 children, I'd sneak 2 minutes on the piano here, another 2 minutes there, and then the chords and melody popped out. I kept my lyric notebook on the kitchen counter, and when bits and pieces of them came, I scribbled them down.

I don't have a whole lot of direction when I write music (mostly because I don't know enough about what I'm doing to direct myself. If stuff doesn't happen by itself, stuff ain't gonna happen, period.). Often times, I don't even know what I'm writing about until it's done and then I look at what I did and say, "Oh, yeah. That's about blah blah blah." And so it was with this song, that although I had a notion that I was writing about Phillip, when it was done, I realized it was about Riley, my cousin's little girl, and the thought of all those children at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

So I might be cheating by including this song as part of the novel. Although, I do think it will direct how I write Phillip's narrative going forward.

And that is what I have to say about that.
Word to your mother's ship.
-ph


To review previous chapters, click HERE.
To hear previous songs, click HERE.

Found (a song for Dolores & Karen)

Found

Words & Music by Patresa Hartman, December 2012

Found

I whisper Sorry
through a closed front door.
I feel so sorry,
but I don't know what for.
Do you?

Everything I knew
is in your closed right hand.
All I thought I knew
has turned to air and sand.

Here comes the tide rolling in with a furious sound.
Washes this house of bones away.
Now I'm lost as you are found.
You're found.
Found.

You say you're angry.
A growl becomes a roar.
You feel so angry,
but you don't know what for.
I do.

You  knew everything
but you chose not to say.
You saw everything,
and you pushed it away.

Now here comes the tide rolling in with a furious sound.
Washes your house of fire away.
And you're lost as I am found.
I'm found.
Found.

Secrets spill into my boat made of glass.
I'm sinking deep, and it's rising fast.

I've lost home and my boat made of glass.
I'm treading water, but it's rising fast.

Here comes the tide rolling in with a furious sound.
Washes this heart of hurt away.
Now I'm lost as you are found.
You're found.
Found.

You can read chapters 1-11 RIGHT HERE.

No Good (a song for Dina)

No Good (Dina)


Lyrics

You got a million different words for a woman like me.
Trouble is, not a one fits exactly.
The weight of your words, like feathers in space.
Now I'm shooting down satellites while you state your case.

I'm no good. I'm no good.
I'm no good. I'm no good.

You and my daddy are like two peas in a pod.
Picking at every which way you think I'm flawed.
Well, go ahead and keep picking, 'cause I'm already gone.
I've got a million different ways to prove you wrong.

I'm no good. I'm no good.
I'm no good. I'm no good.

I'm gone, but I'll stay where you can see me.
I'm gone, but I'll stay where you can hear me.
I'm gone, but I'll stay where you can see me.
I'm gone, but I'll stay where you can feel me.

A woman like me doesn't disappear so easily.

Words & Music by Patresa Hartman (November, 2012)

Ledge (a song for Richard)

Ledge (a song for Richard)

I'd try if I could, but the world is precarious

Tilting and pitching and spinning and whatnot.

You're squirreling your nuts in the belly of chaos.

Don't mind if I do keep my hands clean.

One must stay protected when under the elements,

Hurling their daggers on heads without hats.

Punching the suckers with faces unguarded.

Watch your step, son.

The world is a ledge, and you're bound to fall off.

Time is a bomb, and it's bound to go off.

It's not paranoia if it's just the truth.

My mind's full of caves too dark to explore.

If I can contain, and I can control,

I won't slip in.

Your youth makes you careless; it binds me in knots.

You're playing with knives and fire in traffic.

The earth is ready to open its jaws.

Watch your step son.

The world is a ledge, and you're bound to fall off.

Time is a bomb, and it's bound to go off.

Words & Music by Patresa Hartman, 2012

Stuff & Such (song w/ video - Dolores)

Stuff & Such

(Dolores)

words & music by Patresa Hartman, October 2012

An I without an I

Can swoop and soar and sail and fly

Never lonely, when you got every- thing

And nothing. It's the same thing.

No limits. Just rooftops of treeptops.

No time. Just stems on a vine

And towers that bend and shed leaves.

Too lightly loaded to fret and grieve.

Over stuff and such.

Don't need much.

Stuff and such.

A dog without a leash

Can run and roll and leap and feast.

Never lonely, cause he got every- thing

And nothing. It's the same thing.

No limits. Just rooftops of treetops.

No time. Just stems on a vine

And towers that bend and shed leaves.

Too lightly loaded to fret and grieve.

Over stuff and such.

Don't need much.

Stuff and such.

Quiet the mental, and I'll be elemental.

When ego go catatonic, soul go supersonic.

No more me. Just easy.

Stuff and such.

Don't need much.

Stuff and such.

An I without an I.

A dog without a leash.

Don't need much.

© Patresa Hartman, 2012